Not Dead Yet

Don’t you miss the days not so many years ago when the strangest, most outlandish fringe theory that you had to hear was that Elvis was still alive? Those were kinder times.

Someone would always present you with a photo and say ‘Look – there he is, in the background just there. You see? This proves it.’ You would look, and the person they indicated didn’t look a thing like Elvis. Not even vaguely.  Or else the photo was impossibly grainy, out of focus, or otherwise poorly defined, so much that it was impossible to discern anything at all. Except you could still discern that whoever it was, it wasn’t Elvis. Of that you felt reasonably certain. You wanted to say ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Are you pulling my leg?’ But you knew the person wasn’t.

It would be nice if it were true, though. I suspect that it isn’t. If he was, what his motivation for photobombing in all these random scenes would be, that would be anyone’s guess. Maybe it’s a Bill Murray kind of thing. “They’ll never believe you!” And no, we won’t.

Who knows, maybe he is. Let’s hope so.

Otherwise, may he rise up out of the grave at some convenient moment to smite his enemies.